Long time no blog! My
life got a bit hectic this past week and when I say a bit hectic I mean a lot
hectic! I started a new school, a new job, and found time to go home and be
there when my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Audrie. So
although it was a great week I’m ready to make my blog my focus again, so I hope
y’all enjoy!
A new city, a new
life, a blank canvas. Starting over, I’m learning, is both exciting and
terrifying. There’s no one here to guide you, no one here to tell you where to
be and who to be there with. You have total and utter freedom, and though it is
liberating, it can be challenging to be out in the world on your own. Growing
up in a small town I always knew everything about everyone. Their last name,
where they lived, what their dad did for a living, everything. But everyone here is a stranger, I don’t know what
their past is or even if they’re a good and genuine person, therefore it’s been
sort of tough for me. But nevertheless I’m persevering and forcing myself to
get out there and live a little. To be a little adventurous and make new
friends. I’m thinking if I write these tips down and share them with you it
will hold me more accountable in doing them in my own life.
Put the laptop DOWN. This one is absolutely the hardest for me. I
am practically glued to my laptop and for a long time I was okay with that. But
on my quest to be more daring and adventurous, and on my attempt to make new
friends, it just has to be done. So close out of Netflix (oh the horror), stop
having online retail therapy sessions, AND LEAVE YOUR ROOM (I know I’m asking
for so much). Go out and watch a movie, or ask some classmates to go get coffee
with you. You don’t necessarily have to invite people to go places with you
either, go meet people at a coffee shop or park or wherever you like to spend
your time, just leave your house! I promise it will pay off. Oh and most
importantly say yes to everything (or
almost everything, after all we do deserve a night to ourselves every once in a
while). Go to the party even if you know only one or two people, you never know
who you will meet once you’re there.
You can’t force a connection. I’m someone who is big on first
impressions. I’m not a big fan of that awkward silence (who is) and I don’t
want to talk about the weather or if I like the city, I want people to ask me
questions that matter and questions that they actually want to hear the answer
to. And I want to do the same for them (you know the Golden Rule, treat others
the way you want to be treated. Or was the Golden Rule no hitting? I always
forget). If you’re in college don’t ask
someone what there major is, they are probably beyond tired of answering that
question, instead ask them why they chose the major they did or where they see
themselves in 5 years. Or compliment them on their shoes or bag or shirt, they
have to have something cute on that you like. Remember, flattery will get you everywhere.
Put yourself out there. This one is tough for me because I hate
being the one that makes the first move, I envy people who can literally make
friends with anyone! But when you’re in a new city this is something you’re
going to have to do. So whether it’s at the grocery store or in the elevator,
make conversation, do something to make people notice you. Now I’m not saying
you need to talk to everyone you get stuck in an elevator with but try to
challenge yourself and talk to one new person a week and then maybe try two
people. Even if it’s just smiling at someone, anything to make you seem more
approachable and hey maybe even someone will strike up a conversation with you.
And one last tip, don’t let the good ones go. You know
the ones that can practically read your mind. The ones that you can sit in
silence with and it’s not awkward. The ones you just want to bare your soul to
as soon as you meet, okay maybe I’m taking it a little too far but seriously!
There’s some people that you’re going to meet and you’re going to instantly
click with them and these are the ones you want to cherish. Don’t blow them off
for someone cooler or more popular because like I said before, you can’t force
a connection and one day you’re going to be home sick or heart broken or both
and when you need someone to talk to they’re going to be there for you, and
that’s something you don’t want to lose.
I’m lucky to have met
some amazing people already, people I already know will be lifelong friends! So
if your starting college, or a new school and your nervous about meeting
people, take a breath, everything’s going to be fine. Just make sure to be
yourself! And don’t feel bad when you reach for the two men that will always be
there for you, Ben & Jerry and binge watch Gossip Girl instead of going
out, I’m not judging!
xoxo
T
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